Jesus: Be My Escape
Inspired by one of my favorite songs by Relient K, the purpose of this blog is to spread the Word of God, and to encourage others to seek a closer relationship with Christ.
“I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I’ve been locked inside that house
All the while You hold the key”
Until last year, my life was accurately summed up by the above lyrics. Though I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior at age eight, I had never really sought a relationship with Him; I thought that it was something that would evolve naturally, something that I wouldn’t have to work at. So I didn’t. Sure, I said my goodnight prayer every night, and prayed before meals, but it was an equivalent to rambling off meaningless nursery rhymes. My heart wasn’t in it. Instead, it was locked inside that dark house-longing for love, popularity, friendship- which in turn encompassed me with insecurity and anxiety.
My breaking point came in the form of losing multiple friendships: switching churches, growing apart from friends after graduating high school, and a breakup. All of this happened within a year, and though it surely isn’t the epitome of tragedy, I developed a cynical outlook on life. Constantly feeling lonely, I turned to social media to feed my need for acceptance. However, I never gained true friends nor another boyfriend through the string of friend requests I sent and received. Oh, guys talked to me, but when they each lost interest in me within a matter of weeks, I took the blame upon myself. And with the mindset of never being good enough weighing on my mind, I shut the curtains of that dark house, not wanting anyone to know how insecure I was. Still, the door was still slightly ajar, never locked up completely.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:6-7
I don’t remember the first day I started praying with the intention of focusing my life on Christ. From what I recall, my prayer life was somewhat haphazard; my reliance would waver based on the results of what I could accomplish on my own. Eventually, after multiple disappointments, stubborn little me realized that I can’t rely on relationships with other people to make me happy. More importantly, I learned that I can’t rely on worldly relationships to constitute my worth. I couldn’t handle life on my own. Last year, as apart of my New Year’s resolution, I promised myself that I would work on my relationship with God. I began reading my Bible for the first time in my life, meditating on what God’s Word instructs us to do, and made a habit of praying every night. At first, my prayers were awkward; it was like naming off items on a grocery list. Please help my family, my friends, on and on. But, like developing other skills such as playing guitar or writing, over time I grew more comfortable expressing my thoughts to God. Comfortable, but not complacent like I was before.
“I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.”
The world teaches us that complacency is welcomed in today’s society. Please believe me when I say that complacency is the dark house in which I lived in for so long. Placing all of your burdens on yourself is the quickest, most effective way to run yourself into the ground. Instead, seek the Lord, and cast all of your problems on Him. I mean, He paid the price for it many years ago on a wooden cross.
“Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”-Psalm 55:22
Goodnight, and God bless.