I’m My Own Worst Enemy

My biggest enemy is myself.

The devil takes many forms here on earth to cause us stress and tempt us to turn away from God’s guidance.  Sure, there are visible forms, such as drugs, alcohol, and pornography, but sometimes he tries to get inside our heads.  You see, Satan uses unclean spirits in order to allow us to be depressed or anxious.  When he gains control over your emotions in this way, Satan can cause just as much damage to a person’s well-being as drugs and alcohol.  He’ll try to destroy you from within, turning your own mind against you, making you despise yourself.  I’m here to tell you today that there is a cure for depression and anxiety, and it’s not in the form of any type of medication or therapy.

My Personal Battle

All of my life, I have struggled with shyness.  Throughout my years as a K-12 student, I barely ever talked in class, unless I was spoken to first.  The friends that I was able to make basically looked at me as a tag-along, because I rarely contributed anything to conversations.  Many of my former classmates would openly express how weird it was that I never talked, and if I ever see any of them now, that’s what they still remember about me.  As I got older, I was afraid to venture out and do normal teenage things like driving around after I got my license, or going to games at my high school.  It wasn’t until much later on in my life, possibly a year or two ago, that I was looking at quotes on Pinterest and saw a post about social anxiety.  For the longest time, I thought that I just had an extreme case of shyness, and that I was a complete freak because it makes me nervous about going through normal social interactions.  For example, as weird as it may sound, I always feel awkward whenever I can’t put my change back in my billfold fast enough because I feel like the cashier or other shoppers standing behind me are judging me.  My entire life has been made up of awkward social interactions like that, and I hate it to be quite frank. When I looked more into what social anxiety actually is, I found that a lot of people actually go through the same things as me; however, I have yet to see anything about a cure.  Thankfully, I came across one soon after.

“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”
-1 Peter 5:7

For the longest time, I would beat myself up over my social anxiety. I’m a perfectionist too, so I get upset with myself if I mess up on things, especially in front of other people. Whenever my family or friends would question me as to why I wouldn’t do a normal task, such as walking across a crowded restaurant to go to the restroom by myself, I would get frustrated with myself because I was embarrassed to say I was scared, knowing that they wouldn’t understand.  And, to be honest, I still do that a lot.  A lot of people, my family included, don’t know how hard it is to deal with being socially anxious because they’ve never gone through it. So, whenever it was giving me a hard time, I’d go upstairs to my room for hours at a time, trying to calm myself down.  A couple of years ago when my anxiety was getting pretty bad after going through a bad breakup and facing rejection in the dating world, I started reading the Bible.  Verses like the one from the book of 1 Peter above really put into perspective for me that I was going about fighting my anxiety the wrong way.  Sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself is just what Satan wants me to do.  Satan wants me to hate myself, to wonder why God ever put me on this earth, and to want it all to end.  Satan has made me think pretty ugly things about myself, but whenever I started focusing more on what God’s word says and praying, I began to get better.  Sure, I still have bad days.  Yesterday was pretty awful, but it served as inspiration to write this post.  So, in reality, Satan didn’t win.  God did, and He always will.

The Cure

If you’re going through depression or have anxiety, I know a cure.  You won’t have to pay a cent for it, because that price has already been paid on the cross.  All you have to do is open your heart to the word and love of God, and He will take every last one of your burdens away.

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
-1 Corinthians 10:13

You are not alone.  Thousands of people are going through the same feelings as you.  People everywhere are doubting their worth, hating themselves, and even considering suicide because they don’t know how to stop the pain they are feeling.  All of these bad feelings, these anxieties are the handiwork of Satan.  Satan is playing mind games on you in order to turn you away from God, to make you think that you are crazy and have to handle all of this on your own.  The truth is found in the verse above, that no temptation on this earth, visible or mental, is unique to only you.  There are other people going through exactly the same kind of emotional struggle as you, and God will not allow for you to be tempted more than you are able to handle if you cling fast to His love.  Jesus, my friends, will be your escape.

Jesus, please be my escape.
Please help me overcome my own anxieties.

Goodnight, and God bless!

-Allyson 😀

Featured image found at: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/442619469609074617/

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2 comments

  1. Leah Wentworth · July 8, 2016

    This is wonderful and I have to share it! P.S. I so get flustered about the change thing too!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Comparison: The Ultimate Killjoy | Jesus: Be My Escape

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