A Message to Parents

No, I don’t have kids, but I definitely know lazy parents when I see them.

Don’t lie; I know someone came to mind when you read the heading above.  We all know of lazy parents who don’t discipline their kids.  If you rack your brain and none come to mind, then check yourself, because it may be you! 😛 Yeah, I’m going to be quite brash today, so go ahead and buckle your seat belt for this wild ride of truths that parents in modern society need to hear.

Truth 1: Raising a Child Takes a Village… but You Should Be the Tribe Leader, Not the Village Idiot

The old saying of “it takes a village to raise a child” is true in that people besides the child’s biological parents have a hand in helping to raise the child.  Grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, and friends all may play a part in caring for the child; however, because they did not bring the child into the world, they should not have to hold more responsibility for the child than its parents.  I’m a firm believer that if you engage in actions in order to bring a child into the world, then you should step up and take care of said child once they are born.  This means that you should tend to your child (when you’re not working to provide for your family) instead of pawning your child off on their grandparents or someone else.  Now, I’m not against letting Grandma babysit every now and then, but if your kid spends more time at someone else’s house than their own, then there is obviously something wrong.  I know that in many cases in today’s world that either both parents have to work, or the child only has a single parent to take care of them.  Nevertheless, if a parent truly loves their child, they will make time for the child and be their primary caretaker instead of floating the responsibility to someone else.

  “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
-1 Timothy 5:8

1 Timothy 5:8 states that people who do not provide for their own families deny their faith.  At first glance, you may think, “just because I always allow someone else to fix a plate of food for my kid while I scroll through Facebook on my phone doesn’t mean that I’m not a follower of Christ.” And yes, that is somewhat correct; however, God calls parents to be an example for their children (Proverbs 22:6), and to act responsibly (Galatians 6:5).  If a parent chooses to ignore these teachings, then they are not attempting to honor God’s word.  If a parent is not working to honoring God’s word, then they are not exhibiting true faith in God, and therefore neither will their children.

Truth 2:  Children Don’t Learn Respect on Their Own

Just like learning to use the potty, reciting the alphabet, or learning how to read, children need to be taught how to respect people and property.  Being respectful is not a trait that exists inherently in human beings, but one that is learned through watching and interacting with others.  Children have to be taught to share, to take turns, and to be quiet at certain places and times.  Again, the responsibility to teach children these aspects of respect belongs to their parents.

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
-Proverbs 22:15

Now, the “rod of correction” mentioned in the Proverb above does not necessarily mean that parents should beat their kids every time they mess up.  Instead, it implies that parents should guide and correct their children whenever they are lead astray or do something wrong.  After being around “new school parents”, let me clarify what I mean by correcting children:

Example:  The child is running around the grocery store, yelling at the top of their lungs.

  • What you should NOT do:  Yell at your child to stop, to knock it off, or to come back.
    • Why?  Simply yelling at your child to stop doing something is basically an empty threat, because your child will eventually figure out that you’re not going to do anything to them about their misbehavior besides asking them to stop it.  Besides, it shows your laziness as a parent to be quite honest.  To be even more honest, you’ll probably provoke the child to yell more if you yell at them, and you’ll end up causing a bigger scene.
  • What you should do:  Approach your child, make them look at you, and tell them how you plan to discipline them face-to-face.
    • Why?  Think back to your childhood:  the scary momma’s-gonna-get-you-face was a lot scarier than when she yelled at you from across the room.  When you approach your child and tell them that there will be consequences for their actions, you have demonstrated to them that they will have consequences whenever they misbehave.  Eventually, depending on the consequences, the child should begin to refrain from misbehaving in that manner.

Another thing, lazy parenting is a huge part of why some kids grow up to be uncontrollable brats.  If you notice, the kids who run around all over the place and never clean up after themselves don’t come from families where the parents actively seek to show their child right from wrong, but from the ones where the parents turn a blind eye to their child’s bad behavior or rely on others to correct their child.  It’s as simple as that.

Truth 3: Raise Them Up to be Followers of Christ

Want to know a fool-proof way to raise your child up to be a well-disciplined, kind, and respectful person?  Raise them to be disciples of Christ.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” -Proverbs 22:6

If you raise a child in a house that rarely mentions God’s love, then they will barely know God’s love.  If you raise a child in the ways of the world, they will become like the world.  If you teach a child the love of God and help them develop a love of God’s word, then those teachings will reflect in their daily life.  If a child is full of the love of God, they are not immune from misbehaving; nevertheless, they will have the Holy Spirit to help guide them from bad behavior.  Children learn from watching their parents, so give them something good to watch.

 

Goodnight, and God bless!

-Allyson 😀

Featured image found at: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/324540716880536360/

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