Let’s Stop Girl Drama

If there’s one thing I have learned while growing up, it’s that girls can be ruthless.

Girls are notoriously known for sparking, manipulating, and obsessing over drama.  Consider the media, where films like Mean Girls and television shows like The Bold and the Beautiful have garnered large audiences from portraying women as being vindictive and hateful to one another for asinine reasons.  I can’t count the number of times I have heard my younger sister complain of other girls tweeting mean things or slurring off at one another in public over petty things.  As a young woman myself, I have been caught up in drama before, but I am the least bit proud of it.  After considering how I’ve looked at other girls in the past with harsh feelings, I now want to change my way of thinking.  Today, I propose a change for all women:

We’re all God’s daughters.
Let’s treat one another with kindness, love, and respect.

Now you may be thinking, “you have no idea what she’s done to me!”, or, “I hate her guts!” I’m not going to lie to you, even as a Christian, you’re still going to have these thoughts initially.  It’s going to take a lot of time and effort to change your way of thinking, and I’m still in the process of changing mine.  Despite all of that, if we as women work towards this common purpose, we won’t have to worry about how we handle drama in the future.

In times of strife…

Imagine that one of your friends is talking to another mutual friend about you in a derogatory way.  She may be saying that you’re ugly, that you’re annoying, or she may be starting a rumor about you that is untrue.  Whatever has been said, you find out about it, and you become upset.  If she’s your friend, why would she be saying hurtful things about you?  What should you do?

“But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.” -Galatians 5:15

The Bible warns us in the book of Galatians that if we seek to retaliate on someone who has wronged us, that we may be prone to let that person consume us.  Consider your friend who has been talking badly about you:  do you really want this person’s negativity to consume your thoughts, to get inside your mind, to make you question your worth?  Hopefully, the answer is NO.  Therefore, we should not fight fire with fire, but fight fire with water.  Next time this sort of situation occurs, let’s aim to solve the problem as Jesus would.

 “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”
-Matthew 18:15

The ideology from the verse above, though it says “brother”, works for the female population as well.  Jesus tells us in the book of Matthew to talk to the person who has mistreated us alone, without anyone else around to interfere or allow for further points-of-view.  Relating back to our situation, when you meet with your friend to talk about what has been said, approach her with an open mind and a heart of forgiveness.  If your friend continues to belittle you or refuses to apologize, simply agree to disagree, turn the other cheek and forgive them.  The key thing to remember here is to forgive them, even if they are not sorry, and to pray for them regardless of what happened.  Retaliate harsh words with forgiveness and prayer, not fire, and you won’t have to worry about everything burning to a crisp in the process.

In times of jealousy…

Truth be told, this could break out into a hundred or so mini-situations, but we’ll focus on the main aspect:  Jealousy.  Someone seems to have it better than you, and you’re ticked off about it.  Your ex-boyfriend may be treating his newfound love better than he treated you, and you’ll wonder why he didn’t do the same for you.  Your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend may be attempting to create a wedge between you and your boyfriend, and you’re scared that she might be able to steal him back.  Some girl may be winning the heart of your long-time crush that has no idea that you exist, and it infuriates you to the core.  Been there, witnessed all that. It all stinks.  Jealousy makes us act really dumb sometimes, so we need to work to combat it.

 “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”
-Proverbs 14:30

See that?  Jealousy will destroy you.

Whoever she is, whatever she’s accomplished, she’s not better than you.  On the flip side, you’re not better than her, either.  This life is not a competition to see who scores the hottest guy, who looks the best, or who makes the most money.  God created us all individually, to live individual lives, and He has orchestrated all of our lives not according to one story line, but to our own (guess the word) individual script.  So if she gets the guy you wanted, fine.  Pray that they’ll be happy together.

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
-Matthew 5:44

It’s easier said than done.  I know you’d rather say mean things about them, accuse them of promiscuous behavior, or what have you. I’ve done it, but I’m not proud of it; however, when you pray for someone who you consider a threat, you’ll begin to feel better after a while.  The jealousy you have accumulated will soon dissolve, and you will be at peace.

Hush and Let God Handle It

“Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!”
-James 3:5

Whenever you get the feeling that you’re about to embark on a dramatic escapade with someone, pause, reflect, and shut up.  Brash, I know, but it works.  When you pause, you’re allowing yourself time to think through the situation without doing something that you’ll regret.  When you reflect, pray about the situation. Look to God for guidance.  Whatever you do, don’t react on your own instincts.  The above verse points out that our tongues are powerful, and can cause an immense amount of strife between opposing forces.  Girls, we’re infamous for tearing each other down through hateful speech.  God made all of us… not just you, not just her.  God loves all of us the same.  We’re all God’s daughters, so let’s aim to treat one another as such by praying for one another, and loving one another as sisters in Christ.

Have a good one, and God bless!

-Allyson 😀

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