Let’s Stop Girl Drama

If there’s one thing I have learned while growing up, it’s that girls can be ruthless.

Girls are notoriously known for sparking, manipulating, and obsessing over drama.  Consider the media, where films like Mean Girls and television shows like The Bold and the Beautiful have garnered large audiences from portraying women as being vindictive and hateful to one another for asinine reasons.  I can’t count the number of times I have heard my younger sister complain of other girls tweeting mean things or slurring off at one another in public over petty things.  As a young woman myself, I have been caught up in drama before, but I am the least bit proud of it.  After considering how I’ve looked at other girls in the past with harsh feelings, I now want to change my way of thinking.  Today, I propose a change for all women:

We’re all God’s daughters.
Let’s treat one another with kindness, love, and respect.

Now you may be thinking, “you have no idea what she’s done to me!”, or, “I hate her guts!” I’m not going to lie to you, even as a Christian, you’re still going to have these thoughts initially.  It’s going to take a lot of time and effort to change your way of thinking, and I’m still in the process of changing mine.  Despite all of that, if we as women work towards this common purpose, we won’t have to worry about how we handle drama in the future.

In times of strife…

Imagine that one of your friends is talking to another mutual friend about you in a derogatory way.  She may be saying that you’re ugly, that you’re annoying, or she may be starting a rumor about you that is untrue.  Whatever has been said, you find out about it, and you become upset.  If she’s your friend, why would she be saying hurtful things about you?  What should you do?

“But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.” -Galatians 5:15

The Bible warns us in the book of Galatians that if we seek to retaliate on someone who has wronged us, that we may be prone to let that person consume us.  Consider your friend who has been talking badly about you:  do you really want this person’s negativity to consume your thoughts, to get inside your mind, to make you question your worth?  Hopefully, the answer is NO.  Therefore, we should not fight fire with fire, but fight fire with water.  Next time this sort of situation occurs, let’s aim to solve the problem as Jesus would.

 “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”
-Matthew 18:15

The ideology from the verse above, though it says “brother”, works for the female population as well.  Jesus tells us in the book of Matthew to talk to the person who has mistreated us alone, without anyone else around to interfere or allow for further points-of-view.  Relating back to our situation, when you meet with your friend to talk about what has been said, approach her with an open mind and a heart of forgiveness.  If your friend continues to belittle you or refuses to apologize, simply agree to disagree, turn the other cheek and forgive them.  The key thing to remember here is to forgive them, even if they are not sorry, and to pray for them regardless of what happened.  Retaliate harsh words with forgiveness and prayer, not fire, and you won’t have to worry about everything burning to a crisp in the process.

In times of jealousy…

Truth be told, this could break out into a hundred or so mini-situations, but we’ll focus on the main aspect:  Jealousy.  Someone seems to have it better than you, and you’re ticked off about it.  Your ex-boyfriend may be treating his newfound love better than he treated you, and you’ll wonder why he didn’t do the same for you.  Your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend may be attempting to create a wedge between you and your boyfriend, and you’re scared that she might be able to steal him back.  Some girl may be winning the heart of your long-time crush that has no idea that you exist, and it infuriates you to the core.  Been there, witnessed all that. It all stinks.  Jealousy makes us act really dumb sometimes, so we need to work to combat it.

 “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”
-Proverbs 14:30

See that?  Jealousy will destroy you.

Whoever she is, whatever she’s accomplished, she’s not better than you.  On the flip side, you’re not better than her, either.  This life is not a competition to see who scores the hottest guy, who looks the best, or who makes the most money.  God created us all individually, to live individual lives, and He has orchestrated all of our lives not according to one story line, but to our own (guess the word) individual script.  So if she gets the guy you wanted, fine.  Pray that they’ll be happy together.

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
-Matthew 5:44

It’s easier said than done.  I know you’d rather say mean things about them, accuse them of promiscuous behavior, or what have you. I’ve done it, but I’m not proud of it; however, when you pray for someone who you consider a threat, you’ll begin to feel better after a while.  The jealousy you have accumulated will soon dissolve, and you will be at peace.

Hush and Let God Handle It

“Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!”
-James 3:5

Whenever you get the feeling that you’re about to embark on a dramatic escapade with someone, pause, reflect, and shut up.  Brash, I know, but it works.  When you pause, you’re allowing yourself time to think through the situation without doing something that you’ll regret.  When you reflect, pray about the situation. Look to God for guidance.  Whatever you do, don’t react on your own instincts.  The above verse points out that our tongues are powerful, and can cause an immense amount of strife between opposing forces.  Girls, we’re infamous for tearing each other down through hateful speech.  God made all of us… not just you, not just her.  God loves all of us the same.  We’re all God’s daughters, so let’s aim to treat one another as such by praying for one another, and loving one another as sisters in Christ.

 

Have a good one, and God bless!

-Allyson 😀

 

 

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Biblical Women Versus Modern Feminism

“Feminism is for everyone!”

“Modesty equals oppression!”

“Smash the patriarchy!”

These phrases, along with countless others, have become the mantra of modern feminism.  Feminism, for those who are unaware, has been a controversial topic of global discussion throughout the past few years, arising to combat the “war on women”.  Defined, feminism means, “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men”, which at first glance seems like something that everyone should advocate.  I mean, who doesn’t want equal rights?

But, upon taking a deeper look into the ideologies of modern feminism, I have decided that it is a frightening mindset, in which I cannot bring myself to support.

I’m not a misogynist, a bigot, or sexist.

In fact, I’m a young woman myself.

So, the question on the table is why don’t I support feminism, even though I am a woman?  Well, let’s go back and review the opening quotes:

“Feminism is for everyone!”

“Modesty equals oppression!”

“Smash the patriarchy!”

Over the past few years, I’ve been addicted to Pinterest.  From time to time, I like to review the quotes feed of the website to browse for Bible verses, quotes about writing, or inspirational quotes from people I admire.  Lately, every time I log in, quotes advocating feminism are plastered everywhere.   However, the quotes aren’t always as innocent as they appear above; in fact, they are oftentimes crass and support ideals of misandry, meaning the hatred or dislike of men.  I have read comments on various posts, on Pinterest and elsewhere, where feminists have claimed to hate men in general because they rape, control, and oppress females.  Now, I’m not saying that some men don’t rape, control or oppress women, for they obviously do.  Nevertheless, the actions of those men do not give feminists the right to verbally assault the entire male population.  You see, modern feminism isn’t driving to aid everyone; if it implied equal rights for everyone, it would be called egalitarianism.

Despite the apparent hypocritical mindset of many feminists, the main reason why I do not support feminism is that modern feminism strongly deviates from what God says about being a biblical woman in the Bible.  While surfing Pinterest this past weekend, I came across the following quote, advocating feminism:

“I continue to be amazed when I see Christian women defending a Bible that denigrates women.” -Seth Andrews

Upon reading this quote, I laughed to myself.  Obviously Mr. Andrews has not taken the time to fully grasp the content of the Bible, especially what God has to say about biblical women.  You see, people who state that the Bible denigrates women take verses out of context, therefore framing the verse to mean something that is not true.  For example, below is one verse that is often framed as a misogynistic view from the Bible:

 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” -Colossians 3:18

Modern feminism wants us to believe that the Bible is a product of misogyny because wives are asked to submit to their husbands, as stated in the aforementioned verse from the book of Colossians.  By itself, this verse makes it seem as if men are supposed to rule over women with an iron fist.  However, the naysayers neglect to seek out further understanding of the verse than what they are coming up with on their own.  Let’s take a look at a verse that expands upon the act of submitting:

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” -1 Peter 3:1

In this verse, wives are asked to submit to their husbands in order to relay the Word of God to them, not to be controlled or manhandled by their husbands.  So, in reality, God is giving the woman of the household a great deal of responsibility in entrusting them to be a Godly influence in their husband’s life, not bashing the rights of women.

Additionally, the following verse is also often overlooked, even though it immediately follows the verse that is criticized for the request of submission from wives:

“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” -Colossians 3:19

God does not ask men to be the supreme ruler over their wives, but to love them as Christ loves His bride, the Church.

Furthermore, in contrast to the accusation that the Bible states that all women should be housewives, let’s take a look at this shout-out to the single lifestyle:

“There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” -1 Corinthians 7:34

God knows that some women don’t necessarily need a husband, just like some men don’t need a wife.  However, He doesn’t bash the concept of marriage, unlike some modern feminists who believe that marriage is synonymous with confinement.

Lastly, I would like to point out that Proverbs 31 dedicates an entire section to describe what a godly woman is like.  While I’m not going to rehash the entire section below, here are some highlights:

 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” -Proverbs 31:16-17

 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” -Proverbs 31:20

“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” -Proverbs 31:25-28

Modern feminism often makes the argument that the Bible teaches against women’s rights.  However, as you can see above, that argument is anything but valid.  Proverbs 31 depicts biblical women as strong, hardworking women who are willing to help the needy and aim to see their families thrive.  Godly women are depicted as wise, kind, and adored by their families.  All of these traits are virtuous, and are celebrated in women around the world today.  Modern feminism on the other hand does not advocate biblical virtues, but instead worldly actions such as sleeping around, dressing immodestly, submitting to no one (including God), abortion, etc.

Being a woman myself, I am all for equal rights for women.  I believe that we should be able to vote in elections, and we can.  I believe that we should receive equal pay as our male counterparts, and some of us do, though this is still an issue throughout the world. I believe that a woman should not have to worry about being raped or abused by males. Nevertheless, I will not support a movement that is geared towards defiling men, supporting sin, and blaspheming the word of God.  Instead, I choose to be a Proverbs 31 woman, seeking to please God in all that I do.

Goodnight, and God bless!

-Allyson 😀